Notes from a Really, Really Small Island

We are now in Lanzarote, Canary Islands, having decided to spend three months here to read, write, reflect, relax and rejuvenate. On our journey, I’ve kept a little notebook with me and scribbled down interesting jots about what I’ve seen and heard. As they’re so scattered, I thought I’d just expand on them a bit here.

Canary Islands
-I know I’m not in Canada anymore when paying for a fill up at a Lanzarote gas station, frozen baby octopus are being sold beside ice cream bars.

-Last week, I wandered into an “English” grocery store, curious to see what was sold. I was bemused to hear a local Canarian man, speaking English with a strong Spanish accent, asking the German woman who worked in this English store if she sold Japanese wasabi. Ahh, truly an international moment.

-Ow’rite? This term is one I’ve only heard here in Lanzarote, although it’s spoken as a greeting by the many Brits. I initially thought it was more of a “Everything all right?” or “How are you?” type greeting and would typically launch into a “Yes, I’m fine thanks, and how are you?” response. When I repeatedly got puzzled looks, I realized that it was just their way of saying hello. Oh.

-As a Canadian exercising in a warm climate, I tend to wear shorts and a sleeveless shirt. Yes, 18 degrees C may be cool for Lanzarote but for me, it’s warm! I’m always bemused by other peoples’ attire and figure that the ones wearing long pants, socks, a fake fur lined coat, hat AND scarf, are locals and are finding the recent cold spell absolutely frigid!

Nice
-the bigger the belly, the smaller the bathing suit.

Scotland
-20’s plenty...a speed limit sign in a Glasgow neighbourhood

-Pedestrian Crossings – also known as zebra crossings. The most imposing one I saw was on a dual carriageway or divided highway. A 70 mph (not kmh... MPH) dual carriageway! A highway sign announced its presence, about 1 mile before. Ped x-ing ahead. Good heavens. The countryside must be raising a nation of sprinters!

London
-Tube (subway) announcements:
“Please keep your loins with you at all times”. David and I looked at each with eyebrows raised. We think she really said belongings.

“We are offering good service on the Northern Line.” Well, I’m relieved. I mean, isn’t that what’s supposed to happen? Mentioning this auditory oddity to a London friend, he laughed and said that the tube is notorious for having terrible service so whenever they can broadcast that all is well, they’ll do it!

Paris
Spoon Sizes – on the whole, Europe is not a continent of breakfast cereal eaters. The exceptions are the Swiss and their muesli. This means that when David and I sit down at the start of our day to tuck into a bowl of grains, we face a dilemma. Do we eat the cereal with the diminutive demitasse spoons that hold an oat flake and a small raisin? Or, do we wrestle with the enormous soup spoons, wedging them sideways into our mouths, clanging teeth against metal?

Door Keys – We have encountered some interesting and somewhat memory-challenging keys and combinations to our various accommodations. In Paris, our third floor walk up required a 4-digit combination to get through the enormous door from the street, a second 4-digit code to get through the another huge door into the central courtyard, up a very uneven and crooked oval staircase and then unlocking three different locks on the front door. In Taormina, Sicily, our front door was unlocked by a gigantic, heavy key that I had to lug around all day. Our London flat was on the 6th floor...and no elevator. By the time I got up the stairs, all 103 of them, I was so out of breath that I had to pause to remember which of the three keys went into which lock. However, the place that challenged me the most was Prague. Access to the building was easy, just one key. However, getting into the flat was another story. It too was just one key but required a magical, two handed touch that frequently eluded me. The door handle had to be held just so and at the same time as the key held perfectly poised in the lock. A quick turn of the key (was that clockwise or counter clockwise), then readjust the handle for the final two and a half turns. Of course, it never worked properly if I was in a hurry to have a pee!

Clothing Store Change Rooms – In Paris, they do know how to encourage sales. The change rooms I encountered were large, with multiple hooks and bars to hang the hangers on, adjustable three-way mirrors, not too hot, great lighting (nothing is worse than horrible, overhead fluorescent lighting that highlights all the wobbly bits), a properly closing door AND a call bell for assistance. How great is that!

Bologna
I attended a Rotary meeting in Bologna, Italy. My home club meetings usually involve lengthy and often passionate discussions about our fundraising efforts and charitable causes to support. The meeting in Bologna was also filled with heated discussions, although, because they were conducted in Italian, I wasn’t quite sure what charity they were talking about. When a Bolognese member leaned over to ask me in English if I was following the conversation, I admitted that I wasn’t but it certainly sounded important. He agreed that it was very important. The members were arguing about the type of pasta that was served as the first course. Many felt that the sauce and the pasta shape were not compatible and they were arguing that their president MUST speak to the chef.